Monday, May 2, 2011

looking in a mirror ....

when i went back to the Philippines this past march with Lea it was with the deliberate choice for her to engage with the orphanage and home as i indicated in my post, welcome back to where you are.

but another very special thing happened.  Lea spent some extended time with her birth mum and family.  this was not the first time that we had shared time together.  the first time was when we were picking up the boys and it meant that we had our focus a bit divided and while it was a cherished time ... we couldn't give the relationship the time and energy that it deserved.

so this trip .... while i had stuff that i wanted to accomplish .... from Lea's perspective it was all about re-engaging with heritage and spending some special time with her birth mum.  we found out a few days before going that she was going to be bringing along her younger brother and sister too .... so lea was gonna meet her Tito (uncle) and Tita (auntie)!  very precious indeed.
lea's birth mum, lea and her tita

you could see how much this time meant to Lea.  she was shy at first .... of course.  but they had some great moments as well.  we went out and took them for ice cream .... just to talk and hang out.  i love that language is never a barrier for a child ... Lea was able to talk and share.  but the best images i have are of them sitting side-by-side .... with arms around each other.    it made my heart happy to see both of them healing .... Lea beginning that journey of owning her history.  and her birth mum, starting to heal from the loss.

as adoptive parents, we cannot under estimate how precious this gift of allowing these lives to reconnect is.  it is not always an option, so i count us very lucky and blessed to be able to do this.  what a gift we are able to give our daughter! 

there is no doubt for me that when Lea looks in the mirror, she sees her birth mum.  i do wonder what that stirs in her heart.  she does talk regularly about her birth mum and openly asks about what she might be doing.  i am sure there is sadness ... but great sense of identity is there too.  there is a sense of stability beginning to build in her little heart as she owns, more and more each day, the journey of discovery of who and why she is.

as an adoptive mum, there is no jealousy in my heart for this strong, wonderful and courageous young woman who gave our daughter life.  i am deeply touched by her depth of character and ability to continue to be a part of Lea's life. 

i do not know what the future holds .... how the relationship will grow and change as time and lives move on.  but i can say that here and now, our daughter is blessed to have her birth mum as a real and tangible part of her life .... we are blessed and so thankful and will take nothing for granted.

grace and peace.  selah!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

No comments:

Post a Comment