Tuesday, July 26, 2011

sibling stuff take 2

siblings ..... it conjures up a kaleidoscope of different images.

laughing with and at each other
giggles of utter silliness
fights ... both physical and verbal
rampant jealousy
quiet reflective hugs and cuddles

i have been told by many experts (e.g., parents with grown kids!), that this is typical.  that siblings are just this way .... from children to tweens, teens and young adults.

so while we may utter sighs of exasperation when they fight and rant on about each other .... i find that quiet place that imagines the relationships that they (and their kids!) will have when my husband and i are long gone.  pinoy christmas time.  birthdays.  late night coffee's.  relationships that extend far and deep as they grow together and rely on each other.

pie in the sky?  i don't think so.  if we teach our kids that we are family .... that we are here for each other no matter what .... they will turn to each other.  i heard an old scottish saying once that said, "home is where you go when everyone else has turned their backs on you."  and while that may be the dour side of it .... the positive side is that no matter the ills, no matter your failings ... family will stick together.

and isn't that why we embarked on this adventure?  i remember when we brought our daughter home.  it was so wonderful seeing her engage with her world.  but it didn't take us long to see her need for siblings.  to not feel alone in this vast world.  while bringing her home had filled a need in our hearts .... that very act also made a new gaping hole in our families heart that only a sibling could fill.  we knew it, we saw it and we felt it.

that day-to-day roller coaster of how those sibling relationships develop amazes me.  that these children would so readily accept each other and bond as brothers and sister.  and that in spite of the arguments (and actually, perhaps because of those arguments), when they are older they will draw closer to each other.

they will have each other
that is our legacy
giving them family
giving them each other

Friday, July 15, 2011

...overthinking ...

missy moo has been out of sorts the past few days.

temper tantrums at the drop of a hat
wanting to crawl into bed with us because she can't sleep
hanging on to me when we are out and about

so what in the world is going on with this child?  hubby and i have talked about it and wrestled with it.  school starts back on monday .... she is having a few processing issues so maybe doesn't want to face that.  i'm going in for minor surgery in a week or two and she is afraid of that.  she is talking about the philippines and her birth mum ... but no more than usual.

something has to be going on in her head.  she is anxious, overwrought, lethargic .... how do i get inside that already very complicated brain of hers?

and then today while we are out she says that she can't chew food on one side of her mouth because it hurts.  so i have a look.  yikes.  nasty abscess.

that explains everything.  

"honey .... how long has this been going on for?"
"a while now .... "
"sweet pea .... make sure and let us know any time there is something going on 
that we might not know about ... mum and dad are here to help fix it.  
that's part of our job as your mum and dad."
"okay mum..."

sometimes .... just sometimes mind you .... i don't need to be over thinking things and looking for an underlying adoption issue.  it's just typical childhood stuff.  that ones been appropriately filed now for future reference.

and now we are off to the dentist.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Family Time

ok .... i've been feeling so guilty about not writing that i haven't.  i take it seriously .... but there is one thing i take more seriously.  my family.  spending time with them is the most important and life building thing i can do.

  • the morning cuddles with five of us crammed in a queen size bed!
  • my daughter needing some of "me" just girl time because it is so important to her
  • trying to feed my family good, healthy and nutritious food
  • watching my kids silly skits .... because they think they are hilarious!
  • looking deeply in to my eldest son's eyes .... seeing the emptiness and grief and trying to hold him and show him how much i love him and how important he is in our family
  • tickling my littlest boy until he almost pee's himself
  • doing chores ... ugh.  teaching kids that while they aren't fun doing chores is part of our responsibility to each other as a family
  • trying to help my youngest son understand that he is truly only 4 .... and while the expectations aren't as high .... we still do need him to do his part in our family life
  • and giving lots of hugs and lots of cuddles .... there is always room for more of those
these are the things that have been occupying me of late.  nothing dramatic .... nothing earth shattering .... and yet, in the end, the most important thing i can be doing as i build into my kids lives.

i leave you with this video ... it's one of my fav's and makes me smile.  i trust you will too.

Monday, July 4, 2011

a wonder to behold

.... school holidays
.... oh no!  what do i do with the kids!
.... they'll be at each other!
.... no peace and quiet!
.... mantra:  i .... i will survive!

sounds familiar?  we are on week #2 of three weeks holidays here down under and i am feeling stretched and challenged.

.... i have kids who want to explore their world and challenge all the limits (it's a kid thing)
.... i have kids who laugh and giggle over the simplest little pleasures
.... my amazing children aren't afraid to engage with their world and tackle all it has to offer (with a little help from mum and dad, of course!)

in all this i stand in awe.  as my husband said last night .... kids are almost as fun to watch as chickens!  the way they interact and interpret what is around them.  a child's ability to take the mundane and turn it into something amazing.

Dear Father .... i thank you for the gift of my children.  may i always nurture this joy in my them. may i teach them to face all that this world has to offer .... knowing that a foundation in YOU will get them through anything!