laughing with and at each other
giggles of utter silliness
fights ... both physical and verbal
quiet reflective hugs and cuddles
i have been told by many experts (e.g., parents with grown kids!), that this is typical. that siblings are just this way .... from children to tweens, teens and young adults.
so while we may utter sighs of exasperation when they fight and rant on about each other .... i find that quiet place that imagines the relationships that they (and their kids!) will have when my husband and i are long gone. pinoy christmas time. birthdays. late night coffee's. relationships that extend far and deep as they grow together and rely on each other.
pie in the sky? i don't think so. if we teach our kids that we are family .... that we are here for each other no matter what .... they will turn to each other. i heard an old scottish saying once that said, "home is where you go when everyone else has turned their backs on you." and while that may be the dour side of it .... the positive side is that no matter the ills, no matter your failings ... family will stick together.
and isn't that why we embarked on this adventure? i remember when we brought our daughter home. it was so wonderful seeing her engage with her world. but it didn't take us long to see her need for siblings. to not feel alone in this vast world. while bringing her home had filled a need in our hearts .... that very act also made a new gaping hole in our families heart that only a sibling could fill. we knew it, we saw it and we felt it.
that day-to-day roller coaster of how those sibling relationships develop amazes me. that these children would so readily accept each other and bond as brothers and sister. and that in spite of the arguments (and actually, perhaps because of those arguments), when they are older they will draw closer to each other.
they will have each other
that is our legacy
giving them family
giving them each other