we are now moved. i wouldn't say settled in any shape form or fashion. boxes still abound. but we are here. the kids have their clothes and toys. i can cook a meal and we all have places to lay our heads. we have had a night or two of kids being bathed and happily watching a kids movie as a break ... so something must be right.
home life has this underlying sense of unsettledness. i have to admit it. the kids are acting up like there is no tomorrow. and they seem to be refusing to listen in a way that they never have before.
and this is where i struggle as an adoptive mum .....
folks would say, you've moved ... things are unsettled and the kids are feeling their way .... give it time and things will calm down. and too, i have one that particularly likes to make a big deal out of nothing and can over react and refuse to deal with the things that life throws at them, and you could argue they are milking this for all it's worth.
|Lea ready to take on|
BUT .... and yeah ... i do mean BUT ....
don't our kids have a radical theme of loss and abandonment in their lives?
shouldn't i at least be aware of that to the extent of acknowledging that this move MIGHT have triggered some of those feelings?
so i seem to be back to that old "fine line" thing again with the kids. balancing the need to be honest and acknowledge that the move could have stirred up some old feelings that need to be worked through and over emphasizing it to the point of allowing it to be an excuse for them to not, quite frankly, grow up and get on with life.
i am not sure there is a right or wrong answer in any family. we have three kids, and all of them have dealt with the move in very different ways. what i must do is be aware of their individual needs, with that underlying theme and try and help them normalise ....
part of the adoption journey that i embrace each day. and let's face it .... lots of kisses, cuddles and bed time songs can go a long way to settling any child's heart .....