pushmi-pullyu

i have a bit of a pushmi-pullyu relationship with one of my children.  do you remember this character from the original Dr. Doolittle?  there was this funky lama that had two heads .... one on each end ... constantly pushing and pulling each other and getting nowhere!

one would go forward

forcing the other backward

getting nowhere

so this is at times my relationship with my child.  desperately trying to get to a place in our relationship ....moving towards me at a great rate of speed in an effort to bond and attach.  but then the pushmi-pullyu thing starts and they get stopped in their tracks ...

i love you so much!

hug, hug, kiss, kiss

you love me too!  

uh ho ....

she loved me

she deserted me

but you say she loved me and did what is best for me

will you desert me too?

i can't love you ....

you'll hurt me

you'll leave me

even if you say you'll stay

i'm never going to hug you again

and so the dance goes on.  bouncing from one extreme to the other .... with occasional respites of middle ground where sanity and logic are applied.  it will take time.  LOTS of time.

and that's ok ... because mum and dad aren't going anywhere.

TIME .. and LOVE

the great heart healers.